Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Lonesome Democrat

It's been a long and rough road living in the state of Utah while being an active member of the LDS church and, simultaneously, a Democrat. I've wondered how there can be so much persecution when I held the same political views as Pres. James E. Faust ("Don't you EVER speak of the Lord's anointed like that AGAIN!" was an actual retort to this defense). It was only recently that I did a little research of my own and learned some more of the history of the party; suddenly I understand why the fuss.
Allow me to take you back to the summer of 1790, specifically the rear-yard of a particular Virginia mansion owned by one Thomas Jefferson. It was His turn to host His yet-unnamed club's annual Donkey Riding and Rifle Destruction Bazaar. Mr. Jefferson was enjoying the merriment from his veranda with his confidant Aaron Burr. They were in the middle of a hushed discussion about which members of the Whig Party they were going to infect with homosexuality when the calmness was broken by a shout from behind. "Confound it gentlemen! This should be one of the highlights of the year for us and our club of wealthy, politically influential friends! As sure as my name is James Madison, there would be no better way to round out this glorious day than a rousing evening of killing unborn babies! But I am duty bound to follow the laws of this land that I love so well and refrain from my passions. BLAST!" To which Aaron Burr, always the sensible one, replied, "Whoa there, Jimmy Jim. This love that we ALL share could be just the cause we were looking for to spearhead our emergence into the public eye! We will make killing babies the foundation upon which we make all of our decisions from now on." Thomas Jefferson then lifted his snifter of malt liqueur and proclaimed "And we will do it in the name of Democracy!"

Saturday, February 14, 2009

St. Valentine's Day

I'm not one to appreciate holidays normally, mainly because of the implied social obligation. But today I get to celebrate the love that exists between my wife, Liesel, and I and that's something I care about enough to overlook my general hatred of everything. The reason that we get such a special day is brought into perspective once you know the history of it. The Holy Roman Catholic Church ( of which I'm not a member but an admirer mainly for all the material that it provides stand-up comics ) actually recognizes TWO Saints Valentine on this day. The first, St. Valentine of Rome, was martyred in A.D. 269 after refusing to convert to Roman Paganism; even after being interrogated by Emperor Claudius II who offered him a pardon if he would only denounce his faith. The second, St. Valentine of Terni, invented chalk-candy. There have been other events since that have made February 14th special to lovers, like seven mobsters executed in a Chicago garage in 1929. But on this day, allow me to say that I love Liesel Bendio Potter. And pink m&m's.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I Have a Little OCD.

No you don't. You have quirks, which makes you a carbon-based life form. I figured this was a great way to start off my blog; telling a little more about the screaming in my head. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which is what one has when the normal flow of serotonin is blocked in the brain. I do NOT have the new trendy condition that explains away the reasons we're annoying. I've decided to not bring my condition up in initial face to face encounters any more. It is all too often countered by "Oh, I have that a little bit". Really? Is that like kind of having cancer? You came down with a touch of the AIDS? You're able to flippantly mention the disorder that steals hours from me every day of my life and then makes the remaining hours a constant painful struggle? Well, I hope that all works out for you. Luckily, you only have that a little bit. Your brain cells suddenly remember (more often than not ) to not reuptake your healthy levels of serotonin and let it fly from synapse to synapse. This is not going to be an angry blog (necessarily) but hopefully a place where I may express myself clearly instead of getting tied up when trying to speak in person. One of the worst parts of OCD is being forced to do irrational things knowing full well that they don't make any sense; leading to high, concentrated levels of embarrassment. I would also like a place to express my views on a myriad of issues; not to try to persuade anyone to my side, but to at least explain where I am coming from so you don't hate me as much. But if you still do, it's ok. You're kind of a dick anyway.