Tuesday, February 22, 2011

We few; we happy few

We band of brothers. We must be vigilant and stand together in these trying times. Although there are many things in our society that would strip us of our courage and sense of righteous purpose, I may have found the source of my souls potential destruction. This has naught to do with the political or religious sphere as you might assume; even my constant battle with the scales is put on the backburner. I fear I may, ultimately, be brought down by: Homeless People w/ Puppies. These assholes are brilliant! Homeless people with kids are annoying, but at least you can convince yourself that the child is involved in the life of crime portrayed by the 1991 documentary Curley Sue; which makes you exempt from guilt for keeping your window rolled up at the stoplight while they cry for change. But puppies, even homeless puppies, are nothing but cute and pathetic and they tug mercilessly at my wallet. I pull up to the intersection, glance to my left and in the median is a dejected looking dirty person who didn't even bother to write a misspelled sign. They are casually holding a puppy and smiling because they know that the only thing I now hear is Sarah Mclachlichlan's "Arm's of an Angel" pulsing in my ears remixed with the sounds of a hungry puppy. We must keep these animals out of the hands of the homeless. So please, PLEASE, spay or neuter your pets. (Bob Barker just hacked my blog but I've decided to leave this up because he makes an excellent point.)

4 comments:

  1. smart little homeless boogers. must. wear. blinders...

    ..(and props on the Henry 5th speech)..

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  2. The SPCA is gonna be pissed that their commercials are, in fact, helping the homeless buy booze. Why can't they just go on welfare like more respectful members of society??? LOL

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  3. Yes, welfare homes FULL of puppies. Fine.

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  4. I hear the best way to get back at such conniving homeless peoples is to angrily leave your vehicle, grab said puppy (or dog, I suppose, though it would be more difficult) and drop kick the sucker off the freeway overpass.

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