Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I need to lose weight
Seriously. I'm not going to be featured on an A&E special or anything, but my infatuation with food is getting out of control. I can't even blame it on a cool freudian idea like an "oral fixation" (awesome). I don't know what my stapler tastes like, nor will I be able to write prose based on the joys of masticating sagebrush (these last two words are not intended to create images of a Proper Noun). No, I just really like good food. One might argue that this does not make me unique. Ok, have you ever been caught talking to your food? Do you hum italian arias while chewing? Have you opened up a seperate checking account from your wife so that she isn't able to see how often you purchase meals from restaurants? Have you ever been so ashamed of how much money you've been spending on food that you fake a heroin addiction? These are just a few things about me that those who follow my blog might not be aware of. This is the get-to-know-you segment, even though it's none of your damned business. So please smack any kit kat covered waffles out of my hand if you see me and care about me enough to keep me from my inevitable 35 year old heart attack. If you will do this, I will blog more.