Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I Talk Good

Get it? I am of an elite group of people that talk gooder than you. Truth. To be completely honest, I've studied the rules of the written form of english only so that I may crush these rules in the art of the literary orgy. I am not one of these dicks that will correct your grammar so that I may feel superior; it doesn't bother me at all when people use the phrases and words outlined below. I merely point them out because some people (my employees) might like to know why I smile when they are used. I enjoy thinking up definitions for things like:

exspecially: used to be special or recently made common
for all intensive purposes: only do these things when you are contemplating shark wrestling or base jumping.
laundry mat: something you sit on to fold towels.
added bonus: an infinite number of additional subjects.
right of passage: permission to travel through a specified geographical area.
organic foods produced w/out chemicals: the miraculous growth of plant life completely without the use of water (a chemical known as dihydrogen oxide).
a tad bit: when matter is introduced to anti-matter and made redundant.
The Ukraine: accept no substitutes. I despise all lesser ukraines.
by far and away: the location you seek is close to my favorite binocular store, Far and Away.
unchartered: when you leave your house in a hurry and forget to call a cab.

As I have shared a tad bit of my existing list, more will come at a later date. I am accepting of any additions you may have.


  1. It's another word for "asshole".

  2. I will definitely have to send you some. I proofread transcripts, and collecting typos or misheard phrases is kind of a hobby of mine. LOL

  3. PLEASE share. For me, the joy is not in the mistakes but how my mind interprets them.

  4. The ones I keep a file of are not so much made-up words as they are typos that actually kind of make sense in a funny way or a Freudian slip kinda way. These are just a few from my file.

    "Apples are loaded with these...nutrients which protect these fruits from pathogens, ultraviolent light and stress." (The sun can kill you, but it's usually quite passive.)

    "But it's really so that they start getting comfortable with segwaying from the pediatrician to the gynecologist." (I wish I had a Segway to take to the gyno, it might make the whole process a bit more fun.)

    "Remember that line [from Sarah Palin] which said, `How's that Hopi change step working for you'?" (New dance craze? I'm not sure what the Hopi change step is.)

    And one that is totally inexplainable: "Thank you so very much for being me." LOL

  5. Oh my heck, I HATE "added bonus"!!
    I also hate "I could care less." ... Good for you?